Saturday, December 6, 2014

Risks

I love the days when the fatigue is bad enough that I wonder if I can manage the walk home from the grocery store, and find myself praying that I don't keel over halfway there and spill my groceries all over the sidewalk because people spit on the sidewalk and spit has germs and I don't want to use mustard from a bottle that might have touched somebody else's germs even though I love mustard.

I love the days when it's dark at four and I go on a bike ride in the beautiful rain and get wigged out because I can't see the path and because let's face it, I get wigged out easily.

I love when I'm a little dizzy from the meds and come this close to a massive wipeout that would almost definitely wreck my favorite pair of jeans.

I love taking the first sip of my Americano never knowing if Starbucks might have accidentally made it not decaf like they did that one time and I had a panic attack in the middle of my Latin lesson.

I love when I haven't done any housework all day because I'm a professional procrastinator and then at seven in the evening something happens and I just decide I'm going to wash my dishes, darn it, and I do.

Sometimes I even take out the garbage, too, and feel like a total badbutt because I just know the fruit fly population fears me.

I love it when I look someone in the eye, which is hard because people are so intense all the time, and they look back and smile and it was worth it after all.

I love when life is just insane enough to make me feel alive.

I know, I know.  Never let it be said that this girl is not a risk-taker.

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